Hui Wen spoke to me today and he said sth that impacted me. "Don’t 装 (pretend) already lah, I know you every emo one, you just put face only…"
That had me thinking. Am I bluffing my class? I sure am if I continue on like this: putting on a smile everyday, being enthusiastic and stuff. The scums have already told me to tone down and I did listen to their advice but not completely. I put on a mask for my classmates to see everyday, is that fair to them? Is that fair to ME? I am your typical cynic, not a complete cynic but I always believe that things NEVER work out the way you want it. I always sit back, watch and laugh when everyone fumbles and make a mess because they chose to do things their way instead of listening to what I had to say. Sometimes I get sick of telling so I just sit back and watch. It gets quite amusing after a while.
Well, I guess I put on a mask for both our sakes, for the class and myself. There’s a reason why I am who I am and I can’t let it spill over to my new class, it’s not fair to them. They have done no wrong. But sometimes the mask does not work, my old self still shows through. Forgive me if you feel that I’m overly critical, insensitive or for making snide remarks. I am trying my best to change…
I will continue to wear the mask, till there is no need for it or a need for another one. I have a few hundred more…

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