The IP teacher’s ART OF WAR
Quotes from Mr Daniel Ang Teck Siang
– You never put the negative in front of the one below
o Confusing your enemy is key to a general’s success, victory is certain
– I honour the code
o Generals should fight with valor and honour, only by doing so can he gain the respect of his army
– How do you go to the toilet? Using Integration?
o Sometimes the solution to a problem might be rather unorthodox. Keeping one’s mind open is the key no matter how ridiculous the solution might sound
– You can’t flip your GC over
o Usually what is thought to be impossible can be done one only has to try
– You think MCQ means easy? Heh heh heh heh……
o Never underestimate your enemy even if he looks simple. He might send a dark arrow through your chest
– Nothing! If there was really nothing to hide then you wouldn’t hide it. I rest my case
o Try not to do things in secret, do things in the open where man may see and applaud
Quotes from Ms Elaine Low Yi Lin
o Making weird one-worded sounds may send your opponents into laughing fits, after which, you may strike them down with ease.
– And I’m like HELLOOO!
o One must always have his troops’ attention, lest they make a mistake
– That was quite hysterical
o Madness is not tolerated in Sparta. Offenders should be kicked down a well.
– Everybody say Sperma-to-zoa…
o … …
§ Getting your army to pronounce the names of gametes does not help in anyway
– I’m smiling but I’m quite serious
o Putting on a false smile can be deceiving, even to your own officers, always let them know what you are feeling
– I’d like to have SOME undivided attention.
o Bending grammatical rules may be fun but it causes confusion among your own troops
Quotes from Mr Teo Kok Hong
– I hope you bought insurance
o Always ensure that you are in a win-win situation. If you win the war, you win glory and honour, if you lose, make someone pay for it.
– That was some kind of an answer
o Stupidity should not be tolerated among your ranks.
Quotes from Mr Boy Eng Seng
o Key ingredient to winning a war
– I wanted to be a Chinese teacher
o Sometimes what you want may not be the best idea
Quotes from Mr Wong Yew Leong
– I have no idea why I’m here
o It is not a wise idea to not know the reason why one fights a war
– Yup, being a hamper wrapper does earn you quite abit of money
o Sometimes doing lowly jobs for the nobles can pay off
Quotes from Ms Audrey Ngerng
– As you can see, the SCREEN is not working
o Know your equipment well. Spears can’t slash and screens don’t “work”
– QUESTION MAAARK!!! *waves hands exasperatedly
o Yelling random punctuation marks at your army only makes matters worse
– Complicated is a better word than confused because confused makes you sound…confused.
o You are what you write, writing the word winner on your forehead will indeed make you a winner
– You have no notes and you’re smelling your dog (pencil case), do you need to go to the toilet? You look like you need to go to the toilet.
o Every effect has a cause though the cause for going to the toilet may be rather ridiculous
– I think evil runs in the family
o Your enemy’s child will still be your enemy, eradicate your enemy quickly before he starts a family
– You’re not throwing a grenade (pronounce as granite) at the US
o Be sure to pronounce your commands properly lest your army brings the wrong weapons to war
Quotes from Ms Toh Yee Lin Elaine
– Pain is good…
o Sometimes one should rethink what is good for his army
– Shock is good…
o Shock is only good for the enemy
– Colons are BANNED! It’s not even a punctuation mark.
o Sometimes one should carry a dictionary to war
– Moral of the story? Put question mark
o Curiosity kills the cat, never use cats for war
– I think my laptop hates me
o Make it like you
Quotes from Mrs. Jaya Pillai
– It’s not so bad being Singaporean
o One must sometimes psycho oneself into believing that one’s country is the greatest
– We’re drinkers of society……Woo!
o Freeload if you can but do not make it a habit
– I’m joking but I’m not going to make a joke
o Confusing your army is not a good idea, especially with a bad joke that one wasn’t making
– It might turn up for your paper “What is Mrs. Jay?” Write “Beautiful” and you get full marks.
o Self praise is international disgrace but it boosts morale
– I’m deemed to be fair…don’t laugh…
o Sometimes things do not turn out the way people like it to be
– I’m Indian…I hope
o Always make sure which side you are on
Quotes from Mr Andy Shi Jing Hao
– … …
o Silence is golden…