The PM speaks

by TK
Well, I have decided to go spoof LOTR’s The return of the King. I have here, the transcript of what King Theoden of Rohan says before he and his army of horses charges into the orc army. So here it is…
 
Theoden:
Arise! Arise! Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered!
A sword day! A red day! Ere the sun rises!
Ride Now! Ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin and the world’s ending! Death!
Rohirrim: Death!
Theoden: Death!
Rohirrim: Death!
Theoden: Death!
Rohirrim: Death!
Merry and Eowyn: Death!
Theoden: Forth Eorlingas!

[The horns sound. The Rohirrim shout and charge toward the orcs’ line.]

Ok, now imagine Corporal PM saying this:

Corporal PM:

Arise! Arise! Students of VJC! Books shall be torn! Pens shall run out of ink!
A book day! A yellow and red day! Ere the day of jubilation!
Mug now! Mug now! Mug! Mug for fun and the A level’s end! MUG!
JC ppl: MUG!
Corporal PM: MUG!
JC ppl: MUG!
Corporal PM: MUG!
JC ppl: MUG!
Corporal PM: MUG!
IP ppl: (*Geez since everyone is doing it we might as well) MUG!
Corporal PM: Forth Muggers of VJ!
 
[The recess bell rings. The Muggers shout and charge towards the line of canteen shops]
 
Ok, now imagine this. Aragorn is saying this to whatever’s left of humanity in front of the Black Gate of Mordor.
 
Aragorn:
Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth. I bid you stand, Men of the West!
 
 
Ok, translating to Corporal PM speak…
 
Hold your seats! Hold your seats! Students of VJ, of VJ! My sons! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of students soar, when we forsake our classes and break all bonds of tutorialhood. But it is not this day. An hour of jubilation and forsaken lecture notes when the timetable comes crashing down. But it is not this day. This day we MUG! By all that you hold dear to this good piece of fool scap. I bid you MUG, Men of the East!
 
*Groans
 
 
Moral of the story?
No full day just say lah…wha liaoz
 
The End 

 

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