Hotel Company – an army parody

Okay guess I have to destress hah hah. Just finished doing my IM EOS and chem worksheet so I need to de-stress lol. SO I decided to come up with this army parody called Hotel company where there are only 2 main characters. Lieutenant Sway and Recruit Kee bai who just joined the army. So here’s where the story begins. Recruit Keebai just turned 18 and he is the ultimate noob of all noobs and is placed under the "care" of Lieutenant Sway in Hotel company…
"Recruit KEEBAI!"
"I’m already recruited, don’t have to recruit me again sir."
" * you, want to be funny with me right? *! You’re postel to Hotel company."
"WHOO! haha! Who says army always have to live in disgusting conditions? I’m in the Hotel company leh…Didn’t know they teach you how to run a hotel. Ay sir, where the hotel ah?
"Wha *! You think here got hotel let you stay? Got….over there. See that "nice nice" building over there? Yah that’s your hotel."
"Thank you sir!" Recruit Keebai skips happily to his camp
"This guy’s a bugger man, who he think he is, wha like his name man, chee bai keebai. hahaha."
"OMG! Some hotel! This place is filthy!"
"Eh, brother it’s like that one lah. That’s why the trainer like to say "dust off" mah…"
"okay…but they told me I was going to run a hotel!"
"Hotel? Pui! This is the army lah what hotel."
"No…they were lying to me all the while! … … WHY!!!!!!"
"Eh brudder lax leh, you got 2 more years dun stress lah, lax abit."
"OKAY recruits, today is your first day in the army and you will all address me as Lieutenant Sway, as suay as you can get. Unload your rubbish and fall in at the quadrangle at 16 hours."
2 hours later…
"Oi recruit you cannot stand straight ah?"
"Sir, you tell me to fall in right?"
"Wha lau eh, recruits like you always come one…Can give me a break or not? Go stand there with everyone."
"Yah stand there."
"But I don’t like it here, there are 8 sweaty bodies surrounding me."
"Nabeh! Come army you want to complain can…but you DON’T COMPLAIN TO YOUR LIEUTENANT UNDERSTAND??"
"20? What’s 20? How am I supposed to knock it down?"
"WHA LAU!!!"
"Sir, tell me leh…I want to know! Is it some new army lingo? Wow! Hey you, knock it down 20, yo yo…" "Eh, that guy is the siao lang I told you about heh heh."
"OMG!!! Okay, go do 20 push ups NOW!"
"Push ups? But I don’t wear bra sir."
"Wha basket…want to keng me right…Okay you go back and stand there and you better watch out."
"Huh? Where?"
Back in the Dorms…
"Wha you power man…can escape doing corporal punishment."
"No…it’s just that he wasn’t clear with what he wanted me to do. First he want me to knock a 20 down, then he want me to wear 20 push up bras. I don’t know what to do lah…" *All laugh at Keebai
"Eh, chee *, you must teach us leh, then we all can be idiots and piss Lieutenant Sway off man…"
"My name is not Chee *. It’s Keebai get it straight."
"Too bad, that’s the way it is now…" All laugh again.
>>>To be continued

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