Meaning of life…

Haiz, I know I should be studying during this study leave but I’ve decided to take this night off for a breather. And during this evening/night I was thinking about one of the age old questions: What is the meaning of life? Contrary to what LA teaches, I do not have to think in a language. I think in a series of events that have happened. It’s hard to explain but point is, I don’t have to think in a language… Haha.
Anyway, while reading through my bio notes and bio related extra readings, I wondered, what gives life. So what if I got some lightning and some bunch of amino acids and sigars? A living cell is the same as a dead cell in terms of composition. We know what sustains life but what gives life? What is the soul? Hm… This questions science cannot explain but God knows all. So moving on from there, I reflected upon what happened throughout the year. Well, the year is almost over and will be before you know it. So what have I done/accomplished/failed in this year. And I can’t believe I still remember the DRM (developmental road map if you guys can remember). I reflect upon the goals set and sadly I don’t think I’m going to achieve any of them. First goal was to acuire leadership skills through the course of the year but I’ve only learnt how to whisper to myself and stuff. Well, it’s reflected in the class’ response to me…Second was to know more people better. Other than a certain few, I guess I’ve stopped dead in my tracks. I’ve still yet to know more about someone other than her favourite colour. Third was to get good grades, that is a possibility of success. Well, good is relative and I decide how good is good.  Feels ‘good’ to be in control sometimes.
Another thing is that I looked through and accessed the social stability of our class. I shall keep my mouth quiet on this one lest I start another Kwok-hater campaign. But anyway I have identified a few social/class rankings. From the highest to the lowest we have the,,,
 
King/Queen – People with immense social power, everyone will listen to them and do their bidding at whatever the cost. Why? Because number 1, they fear being backstabbed (these people wield great social power mind you, they can turn everyone against you in the blink of an eye) or number 2 because they feel like helping a friend when they are actually being manipulated. Finally, as their name suggests, they usually get what they want done…
 
Alpha female (most of the time) – Again, these people have social power but not as much as the monarchs mentioned above. They are content to be behind them though. People listen to them because they wield authority and great intellect. They could probably thumb you down in a single sentence. So, watch out if you’re not on good terms with them.
 
Groupies (people who form a group) – These bunch only have power when they’re together. By themselves, they’re helpless. Generators of gossip and juicy news, they move around in a pack and rarely caught alone. Usually being led by a King/Queen, they tend to acquire some of their traits but as sais, only work when in a group.
 
Goofy(plural: goofies) – Reputation for being, well, goofy. With their happy go lucky attitude they are rarely put into consideration. However, their goofiness never fails to entertain and that puts them in a certain degree of respect by their peers.
 
Vagabonds – Clueless wanderers who can’t care less. Usually the quiet bunch but they never fail to surprise with their unique skills. They usually wander alone and tend to stay away from larger groups even when invited. Their unique skills are respected IP-wide and respected. However, jealous people might brand them with a certain nickname.
 
Pariahs – No need to explain more. They’re just social outcasts. Labelled as anti-social, these people tend to stay in groups of 2 to three. They have no power nor authority nor respect. Hated, excluded and forgotten, they have the ability of stealth which sometimes work to their advantage when people take no notice of them. Most however, enjoy this state.
 
Yup, so there. I think everyone in our class fits into one of these categories. I myself fall into the pariah caste, others I shall not say if not teoh kan again. I realised my blog is a very powerful tool. Usually people read without leaving comments and then when I say something "new". WHAMMO! My whole blog gets flooded with negative comments. I kinda deserved it though but no more from now on. I’m a "good boy". I "self-censor" haha, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking it. It’s still swimming in my brain, being processed and processed again.
 
SS says there’s no culture of one. I think my IP life can prove that wrong. HAH!
 

 
Hm…I’ve gotten over the fact that my number tag got vandalised by some clown in our class or an outsider. And special thanks to Rhoda who came to "console" me. Actually the best way to console a man is to leave him alone. He’ll simmer down after awhile. Works for me. Anyway that bloody vandal better not do it again. I’m looking for something vandal-proof to stick on my locker but currently nothing to put so keep searching lor.
 
>>>Thomas out>>>
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Sherlock Holmes and James Watson

There’s been a new case. The locker of TK.wok has been vandalised by an unknown vandal. And it is up to Kenny Holmes and James Kwok to crack the case. After witnessing the trauma of the victim as he saw his beloved number tag vandalised with the words (I shall be very franck) "suck cock" with green ink, Kenny Holmes and James Kwok decided to help the poor bloke. After an interview they realised that the victim was an outcast by his classmates and wasn’t on good terms with everyone. And of course the green number tag with the words "Victoria School 36
" meant so much to the victim because 36 was his favourite number and at that particular year, his cross-country tag number was the same as his favourite number and is one of the few momentos that he has left of his beloved ex-school of VS. The victim had to run a gruelling 5 km in order to obtain the tag and whether by luck given by the tag or by coincidence, his house came in first and the victim was awarded a gold team medal.
Investigations began once the victim calmed down and stopped kicking the defiled tag and swearing his head off. Kenny Holmes spotted a green highlighter that was looking very suspicious lying on table six. Upon closer investigations, there was a green mark on a piece of rough paper. Kenny Holmes concluded that this green highlighter was the marker which made the green words on the green tag. An ingenius plan but foiled by the observant eyes of the victim. A passer-by confirmed that the green highlighter had been left on the table for a very long period of time and belonged to nobody. The rough paper that bore the green mark by the highlighter was also a recent piece of paper given out by the chinese teacher. This finding is coherent with the fact that the mark was only discovered on Friday. Which means the suspect had only commited his crime recently. Kenny Holmes had concluded that the suspect tested the highlighter for ink on the chinese worksheet before proceeded to vandalise the number tag.
 
However, James Kwok found another stray green highlighter out of its pencil case on table 4. However, suspect 2 had confirmed that the highlighter belonged to her and that nobody had used it other than herself recently. That eliminates suspect 2 from the suspect list. This puts all the "inhabitants" of table six in the prime suspect list. There is one however that stands out. Suspect 3 is most likely to have committed this awful act of vandalism however there is no evidence that proves that suspect 3 did it. Investigations are still being carried out.
 
Okay enouugh of the story, now for my REAL feelings. Okay if that clown of a vandal is reading this just to let you know that you hit the spot. That number tag that you vandalised with green ink in order to "conceal" your horrible act meant alot to me. I just want to ask what did I do to you? THINK ABOUT THIS RATIONALLY. I believe I did not do anything to deserve this rubbish. If this news goes to the auhorities you are screwed. I don’t want to know who you are and I don’t want you to apologise. All I want you to do is to think why I deserved this. If you still think what you did is justified then by all means go kill me or stick a knife through me or maybe bring an axe to school to hack my locker in two or something. If you finally come to your senses then just don’t do it again. If we were friends before you don’t have to talk to me again.
 

 
THIS PORTION IS OPTIONAL FOR YOUR READING BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT WHATEVER I WRITE WILL AND CAN BE USED AGAINST ME
THEREFORE DON’T READ IT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO
IT’S BAD FOR HEALTH
TO
HATE
SOMEBODY
 
This sucks, everytime I attempt to decorate something it gets vandalised. I once stuck a 2 of spades card on my little personal space on the board at the back of the class back in VS and some clowns went to tear off the 2s, wrote a 3 and added an extra spade in the middle. Intelligence told me a bunch of malay boys did it but I didn’t go and find out exactly who because there is no point. I’m getting kinda used to this thing. I’m like some sort of a laughing stock now. I remembered in this year I was walking by some bunch of classmates (they were sitting by the koi pond and I was walking on the landing above). And I heard this loud and clear by somebody. "Thomas? That guy sucks lor…" That one went in. I know tons of people hate me. After what I’ve done and stuff and I don’t blame anyone who hates me. But this is a little overboard isn’t it? Vandalism of my beloved tag. I kinda know who did it and I’m not surprised. Yah, the whole world hates me and then? Go ahead kill me when you have the chance, rid yourselves of this filth that lives among you. This hatred by the class has effectively reduced my social circle to 2 people. haiz, of all the 100 over people in IP and the 27 people in the class minus me I only have 2 close friends and a no more than 10 good friends. Splendid huh? I learning to like this though. Living the low life in the slumps. Shadow camper is my name. Camp in the shadows and no one will notice you or bother about you. And you have few people to share your tent with. You make your own fire and cook your own food and sing to the leaves. Sounds good to me, you’re not welcome to share the tent if you’re not one of the two I mentioned. You’ll just collapse my tent, put out the fire and crush all the leaves and leave
 
Hm… now by saying all these I can feel all the mixed reactions already. I think most of you people will now feel that I’m anti-social and stuff. I have this paradox I thought of for all you Kwok-dislikers/haters out there. Assuming there is a bunch of anti-social people, maybe around two since anti-social people don’t like much company and a single lone sociable person. Would this sociable person be considered sociable when placed in this situation? Will you result in three anti-sociable people or still 2 anti-socialbe and 1 sociable? Yuppz, that’s all I want to say.
 
And by the way I felt much better with my old VS pal.

Number one…

This is a series of events that happened from Monday to Thursday which is today.
1. Bloddy IM preseentation on tuesday. Without warning…the schedule was given to us on monday and my group was to present on tuesday. First of the grouping some more… At least it’s by Mr Boy and Ms Ong. What I infer is that Ms Ong is a new teacher and she knows no shit (or…she doesn’t know much) and Mr Boy doesn’t intimidate me unlike Mr Koh and most of the other teachers. So…on tuesday, I made my script and Nicholas wrote the ENTIRE script for everyone. WoHo, thanks Nick. I feel like a slacker leh. Pris and Jill did most of the stuff and Nicholas did few but rather large stuff like analysis of the survey all by himself and other large stuff. Whereas I can’t remember what I have done. Haiz…nothing actually, not even the podcast. We couldn’t use the podcast anyway because we didn’t hand it in together with the powerpoint. NAHBE*! And, I should stop swearing. During PE on tuesday I swore quite loudly in front of the PE teacher and others. So much for a testimony for Christ haiz…My life testimony is screwed. I must redeem myself haiz. Anyway this was how it happened. I got hit by a netball in the face while catching a high ball and sent my specs flying. Oh the horror. For somebody who hates netball to get hit by a netball in the face is highly embarrassing. Haiz, I forgave the netball which hit me and carried on playing.
 
Guess what,
 
It happened again…
 
That was it. I lost control…NABEH CHEEBYE!!! Don’t use specs liao. The PE teacher was there and she looked "shocked" and Cynthia was laughing away that my specs flew off and that it happened a second time. Dun blame her though, it was probably quite a funny sight…
 
2. I met the largest CPK
I will not elaborate…
 
I hate this. I have this auto built-in anger suppressor that prevents me from blowing my top and getting violent or let alone raise my voice. If I try to do so, my voice will falter and I’ll start squeaking. Haiz…It seems to me that God put it there. Maybe it’s a good thing, stop me from commiting bigger sins. Actually just thinking about angry thoughts is a sin. It’s hard to be perfect.
 
3. I beat Cui Yue in Taiti
Ok no surprise here. Haha. While doing our group SS project on the mind map thingy (our topic is subcultures), we drifted to taiti. Can’t remember how it happened but it happened anyway.
"Haiz, too bad you dunno how to play."
"I know how to play, who say I dunno how to play?"
"You can play? HAHA! Prepare to be owned…"
 
Play on…
 
As a self-declared Taiti King (like my initials TK=Taiti King) I have an image to keep. So we roped in Nicholas and Perle to form a 4 player game. So it’s a battle between me and Cui Yue. Muahaha. The first match was quite interesting, my cards were horrible but me and cui yue were down to one card each. Mine was an ace and his a queen. He had earlier thrown the 2 of Hearts which everyone passed. TO MY HORROR, because Nicholas still had the Tua ti and he didn’t put it down! So Cui Yue won the 1st game.
The next game I owned man…Monster Kill. I won obviously, thank goodness. If Cui Yue won again dun need to play liao…
The third and last game, again me and cui yue were down to one card each. Perle had just thrown a big card and she was in posession of the game. And again, TO MY HORROR…she cooly placed the four of diamonds on the pile. I went hysterical. After Perle’s turn was Pris’ turn then followed by Cui Yue’s turn. And Perle nicely put the 4 of diamonds down. Is it some conspiracy to overthrow me as the Taiti King??!! Thankfully Pris placed a card that Cui Yue had to pass, me having the next biggest card unplayed pt the ace of hearts down and again went hysterical. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Still the Taiti King and evermore… … mUahahahahahaha!

Hotel Company – an army parody

Okay guess I have to destress hah hah. Just finished doing my IM EOS and chem worksheet so I need to de-stress lol. SO I decided to come up with this army parody called Hotel company where there are only 2 main characters. Lieutenant Sway and Recruit Kee bai who just joined the army. So here’s where the story begins. Recruit Keebai just turned 18 and he is the ultimate noob of all noobs and is placed under the "care" of Lieutenant Sway in Hotel company…
 
"Recruit KEEBAI!"
"I’m already recruited, don’t have to recruit me again sir."
" * you, want to be funny with me right? *! You’re postel to Hotel company."
"WHOO! haha! Who says army always have to live in disgusting conditions? I’m in the Hotel company leh…Didn’t know they teach you how to run a hotel. Ay sir, where the hotel ah?
"Wha *! You think here got hotel let you stay? Got….over there. See that "nice nice" building over there? Yah that’s your hotel."
"Thank you sir!" Recruit Keebai skips happily to his camp
"This guy’s a bugger man, who he think he is, wha like his name man, chee bai keebai. hahaha."
"OMG! Some hotel! This place is filthy!"
"Eh, brother it’s like that one lah. That’s why the trainer like to say "dust off" mah…"
"okay…but they told me I was going to run a hotel!"
"Hotel? Pui! This is the army lah what hotel."
"No…they were lying to me all the while! … … WHY!!!!!!"
"Eh brudder lax leh, you got 2 more years dun stress lah, lax abit."
"OKAY recruits, today is your first day in the army and you will all address me as Lieutenant Sway, as suay as you can get. Unload your rubbish and fall in at the quadrangle at 16 hours."
"SIR YES SIR!"
"Hm…good."
 
2 hours later…
"Oi recruit you cannot stand straight ah?"
"Sir, you tell me to fall in right?"
"Wha lau eh, recruits like you always come one…Can give me a break or not? Go stand there with everyone."
"Er…here?"
"Yah stand there."
"But I don’t like it here, there are 8 sweaty bodies surrounding me."
"Nabeh! Come army you want to complain can…but you DON’T COMPLAIN TO YOUR LIEUTENANT UNDERSTAND??"
"Er…yah"
"DON’T YAH ME! GO KNOCK IT DOWN 20!"
"20? What’s 20? How am I supposed to knock it down?"
"WHA LAU!!!"
"Sir, tell me leh…I want to know! Is it some new army lingo? Wow! Hey you, knock it down 20, yo yo…" "Eh, that guy is the siao lang I told you about heh heh."
"OMG!!! Okay, go do 20 push ups NOW!"
"Push ups? But I don’t wear bra sir."
"Wha basket…want to keng me right…Okay you go back and stand there and you better watch out."
"Huh? Where?"
"FORGET IT…"
 
Back in the Dorms…
"Wha you power man…can escape doing corporal punishment."
"No…it’s just that he wasn’t clear with what he wanted me to do. First he want me to knock a 20 down, then he want me to wear 20 push up bras. I don’t know what to do lah…" *All laugh at Keebai
"Eh, chee *, you must teach us leh, then we all can be idiots and piss Lieutenant Sway off man…"
"My name is not Chee *. It’s Keebai get it straight."
"Too bad, that’s the way it is now…" All laugh again.
 
>>>To be continued
 
 

Leadership…

Leadership ain’t easy you can be sure of that. Being the secretary isn’t easy. Looks like I bit off more than I can chew, I never asked for the "second-in-command" post and I thought being the secretary means tying up loose ends or running little errands. But it’s not like that, screw up any of the little tasks and say bye bye to your reputation. I think I have negative reputation left. Being a leader is tough, especially being a class leader. I think I can run my little groups quite okay, groups of 5 or less. But looking at the class response to me, I think I have negative respect lor…Everytime I give an announcement nobody listens…Not the first time you know…I once gave an announcement which no one listened to. Just me and the "wall". Now I know how teachers feel. Lol. Haiz. I also screwed up the class accounts, I lost about 20-30 bucks and I have fully paid up for it out of my own pocket. Ouch. It really sucks lor…
So therefore I didn’t apply for PSL. Not that I don’t want to or because I think leadership sucks but I just think I’m not up to it. I’m not really very spontaneous or sociable. I think I’ll be doing VIP a favour by NOT being a PSL. Being a PSL is more than fun alone. I don’t want to join just because it’s fun. The "future" of the next IP1s rest in our hands. So I have given it much thought and decided that I shouldn’t go for it. Just like what commander Paddy and I myself once said, to be a leader you must be a follower. Not everyone can be a leader, there must be followers to be a leader so not everyone can be a leader, get it? So I’ll be your follower, lead the way and I’ll follow you where ever you lead. So I wish all future PSLs good luck with the selections and give it much thought.