Kevin, Kenny and I were joking around today coming up with all sorts of military jargon rubbish and made up this story. I’ll write it down here plus my own stuff…Heehee, enjoy.
Operation: Cut the tall trees
Assault on Ent outpost East Coast Keta.
"Lieutenant, carry out operation Cut the tall trees."
"Roger that command. All soldiers mount up! Standard flanking formation, Alpha and Beta team will attack from the left, Blue and Red team from the right. Zulu company will come in later and mop up the mess. Let’s move soldiers. GO GO GO!"
"Sir! Enemy sighted 12 o’clock dead ahead!"
"Hold fire till I give the command"
"Corporal, get me an air-strike on that outpost on the double."
"Yes, sir. Air team charlie is on their way. ETA is 10 minutes. Sir, I suggest taking out those STA missle launchers the Ents have placed around their outpost."
"Negative Corporal, Fire team Alpha are on their way to neutralise the supply lines to Outpost EC Keta. Those missle launchers will be offline before the air-strike arrives."
"Lieutenant, this this Air team Charlie one, we have engaged the enemy."
"Roger that Air team Charlie, moving ground forces in."
"Sir! Enemy hangar spotted 20 clicks from your position, enemy aircrafts are launching. Taking fire. Requesting immediate assistance!"
"Negative Air team Charlie, fall back to HQ."
"CHARLIE ONE!!! Charlie one this is Lieutenant Tucker do you read? Come in Charlie one! … He’s gone. Alright ground forces commence fire. Charlie team, fall back to HQ."
"Sir, this is Zulu two. These axes have minimal effects on the Ents. We’re taking serious damage. The flamethrowers are holding out. Requesting heavy ammo."
"Affirmative Zulu two, chain saws on the way. ETA 5 minutes. Hold position."
"Lietenant, intercepting Ent transmissions."
"Isolate that signal!"
"Decypting…Sir, they’re sending a distress signal. It reads: High command, we are under attack by human ground forces. We managed to repel their air support but we are suffering heavy casualties on the ground. Their chain saws, petrol bombs and motars are literally cutting our troops down. We have lost two divisions of Elite tree-huggers. Requesting reinforcements to repel the human filth. Tell the convoy to return back to HQ. Outpost EC Keta is under heavy fire. Requesting reinforcements."
"Damn, jam their comm systems."
"Good, Yellow team proceed to the river and roll the welcome mat for the convoy, I don’t think they got their message yet."
"Sir, we’re still pinned down! Holding best we can."
"What?! I just dropped off the chain saws on your position 30 minutes ago. What’s going on down there?"
"Permission to speak freely sir."
"Thank you sir. Ahem. FUC* YOU NAB*H CHEEBY* BASTA*D!!! Did you tell the techies to check the fuel levels in the chain saws???!!! They went out before we could use them. FUC*!!! Enemy! Private, fall back! Blow torches open fire! HAHA! Enemy neutralised! Bravo team proceed to Nav Beta and hold position there till given further instructions."
"Er…Sorry seargent. Sending in fuel tanks on your six."
"Sarge! Your permission has expired, speak to me in this manner one more time, I’ll have you out of the army."
"Lieutenant! Intel reports a counter attack. Lance of heavily armed Ents approaching base camp from the north west. Calculating ETA…ETA in 10 sir!"
"That’s easy, send them in."
"Sir, are you positive?"
"No I don’t have AIDS, just send them in."
"Roger that. Ground team open hanger bays, it’s time to launch the BULL-DOZERS…"
"Injecting stim packs into BULL-DOZERS…there, we have 20 operational and awake BULL-DOZERS, 4 are still in deep slumber. It’ll take some time to wake them up."
"Roger that Ground team, do whatever you can to get them up. We need every BULL-DOZER to win this fight."
"Charging anti-matter ray beams…Alright, BULL-DOZERS, we’ve slept enough and it’s time to give em hell!"
"We’ll bulldoze our way in and kick some wooden ass!"
"Then we can take a nap when we’re done. Jenkins! Not now you BULL-shit. Lock and load boys…We’re moving out!"